Sometimes the carefully constructed delusion comes crashing down. And it is such a bore to sit and rebuild it all over again. But I know I must, lest the dreaded wallowing comes back.
lolzzz... know what u mean... sometimes a loose wish, or a flash of memory comes along and brings down all that i built up to convince myself and others... and when it falls, im left feeling more confused... was there never a change? was d pain always there? was it all just a delusion after all?? and again i fool myself... try to pretend it was not...
but if i dnt rebuild again, and asap, i drown... and then return, is a walk thru hell again...
It's ironic. The brain builds up a delusion as a quick-fix survival trick, and then itself becomes subject to it. It sometimes takes a calamity to put things in perspective. And such a calamity has recently occurred, and the clarity with which I am able to see things now is amazing.
true... glad it worked for u... was d other way for me... one after another, it broke me completely... it did do one good thing though... i re-discovered God... and His love... and now thru all, it keeps me going... yes, im still living a delusion... cnt have it otherwise until im healed... but its good enough to keep one going...
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lolzzz... know what u mean... sometimes a loose wish, or a flash of memory comes along and brings down all that i built up to convince myself and others... and when it falls, im left feeling more confused... was there never a change? was d pain always there? was it all just a delusion after all?? and again i fool myself... try to pretend it was not...
but if i dnt rebuild again, and asap, i drown... and then return, is a walk thru hell again...
It's ironic. The brain builds up a delusion as a quick-fix survival trick, and then itself becomes subject to it.
It sometimes takes a calamity to put things in perspective. And such a calamity has recently occurred, and the clarity with which I am able to see things now is amazing.
true... glad it worked for u... was d other way for me... one after another, it broke me completely... it did do one good thing though... i re-discovered God... and His love... and now thru all, it keeps me going... yes, im still living a delusion... cnt have it otherwise until im healed... but its good enough to keep one going...
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